Intentional Living...

One of the challenges I give myself spiritually, and as a wife and mother, is to choose the way I live my life as intentionally as I can.  It's easy to go through your days like a robot.  Or to follow the ways of the world and immerse yourself into what culture, community, or media dictates as "normal" or "ok."  I like to be different. Go against the grain. Challenge myself to be better. To have a reason for everything I do and to be sure that my reasons are in line with what my beliefs are.  I don't often give myself a head check to see how I'm doing with my intentions, though.

I'm a perfectionist.  I hate that about myself.  I crave order, demand it, actually.  And it can be crippling sometimes.  I haven't figured out why I am like this or why it's so hard for me to compromise.  I have some ideas, but I won't get into that.  That could be a whole other conversation.  But the craving, and exhausting clamor,  for perfect, order, glitch free, or whatever it is I'm trying to accomplish is getting in the way of me following through on my intentions.

When I decide to tackle an area of my life, whether it's exercise, healthy eating and cooking, home care, spirituality, serving my spouse or children, cleaning, jumping back into my career, whatever...I do it with amazing force and power.  I knock it out of the park...for a little while...until I, predictably, get burned out and somewhat frustrated that everything else in that list has been completely ignored and left behind.  And I end up with an amazing amount of catching up to do in those other areas in my life that I am responsible for.  And even though I am doing beyond great in one category of life, I end up feeling a little bit like a failure because everything else was left in the dust.  It's a ridiculous cycle I go through over and over that needs to be balanced.  Please tell me that I am not the only person who does this?!!

Yesterday, my husband called me on his way home from work after getting a text from one of our kids asking him to pick something up on his way because we couldn't figure out what to make.  The afternoon had gotten away from me and nothing was prepared.  He started the conversation by saying, "So I guess this isn't one of those days where I come home to an awesome dinner waiting for me on the table?"  Although it was totally lighthearted with no negative intentions, the guilt that welled up inside of me was pretty intense.  He was totally right, although he didn't know it.  That act of service...having an amazing home cooked meal on the table when he gets home...is one of my intentions.  It may sound old fashioned, but the results that come from it relationally within our family, and our marriage, are very sweet.  That statement from my husband let me know that action on that intention is important to him as well, for whatever reason it is for him.  Being an attentive wife and mother is so important.  I know this.  It's one of my most important jobs that God has bestowed upon me.  Getting caught up in other things, our unusual and unpredictable summer schedule, trying to find some semblance of a routine, and spending too much time thinking about how I can be a better person, and planning my perfection, has caused a lacking in my attentiveness. 

Today I am thankful for my husband and his witty remark about a lack of dinner on the table last night.  It unintentionally reopened my eyes to that list of intentions that I have and desire so greatly to balance throughout my life so I can be a blessing to those around me, and, be a reflection of God to others who watch me.  Thanks for the "head check" my love, you make me a better person!

A Happy Anniversary...

I was just thinking about my life a second ago, and I realized we've hit an anniversary.  One year ago, we packed up our family and moved to a new state for a new job opportunity for my husband.  When we left, we kept telling our apprehensive children "It's going to be a great adventure!" I think I was trying to convince myself of the same thing.  The whole move was pretty sudden and I really didn't have much time to think about it until we had already arrived!

I've grown and learned a ton this year.  And even though I was afraid to leave everything familiar behind and start all over again, I realize now, it was THE. BEST. DECISION.  I have ever made.  The transformations that have happened in this family are overwhelming, profound, and far beyond any expectations I ever had for us.

One of the biggest changes is within the relationships of our immediate family.  When you only have each other to rely on, you learn quickly how to do just that.  Our five children are much more close and attached to each other now than they ever have been. They are much more sensitive to each others needs and much more aware and feel empty when someone is away...even for an afternoon. 

Our marriage has grown and matured even more than the children.  With the new job came a whole new set of circumstances.  My husband is busier and gone a lot more as he starts up a new company here.  He comes home tired, excited, frustrated, starving, and any other feeling you might be able to come up with.  Suddenly, I was thrust into a whole new batch of roles that somehow I had overlooked previously.  And without the camaraderie of familiar coworkers and employees, I became a new sounding board for him, which I LOVE.  Just listening to him talk about his day, how he handles situations and watching him grow professionally with lightning speed has ignited a whole new spark in me for him.  I never realized just how wise my husband is.  He's brilliant, seriously.  He has amazing perspective and incredible creativity.  He thinks so out of the box, it sounds crazy, but somehow, it's exactly the thought that was needed to propel him and his company forward.  And since I have been given a greater view into the window of his work world, it has caused me to listen more deeply and intently to his perspective and out of the box ideas for us here at home.  Yielding to him and his decisions more and more has netted a wonderful sense of calm in me.  Let's face it, if you know me at all, you know I'm a control freak...so this has been a huge gift to me!

Allowing my husband to lead us into a new world was really difficult but has been so incredibly rewarding.  So much has been gained emotionally, professionally, spiritually, relationally, even physically!  I'm braver, more respectful, a better mother, a better wife, our family is healthier, more active, and we're much more in love with God and with each other.  What more can you ask for?

It was hard to leave the one city I have basically lived in my entire life (with the exception of a few random detours), and to leave our family and the ones we depended on (a little too much maybe?) to keep our household running.  It was hard to leave our friends behind.  And our church.  But we have found all of that here, plus so much more.  So thank you, my love, for encouraging us to grow at lightening speed as well.  I am so honored and blessed to be married to you!  I am really looking forward to what this next year brings for you, and the rest of us!!

 Checking out the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden one year ago...

Vitamin L...

Today is my birthday and I turned 36 years old. Every morning when I wake up, I grab my phone and begin my routine of "waking up." I check the weather, look at my to-do list, play a few turns on Words w/ Friends, and scroll through email. What do these two things have to do with each other? This morning I found an email from my husband with a subject line stating "36 Reasons I Love You - Happy Birthday" and that followed by me starting my day with a smile.

The month of February is known by many as the "month of love." Love is a key nutrient that we all need in our lives. Valentine's Day should not be the only day we choose to express this most wonderful feeling. We need to give and receive love every day. It is vital to our survival and health. And those of us who have gone through training in the holistic health and nutrition world were taught all about this and like to call this "Vitamin L" (the L stands for LOVE).

Getting a daily dose of Vitamin L is essential to living happier, healthier lives. Vitamin L comes in many forms and isn’t just about romantic love between two people. It can be love for ourselves, or a particular practice of self-care. Vitamin L can come in the shape of our partners, our pets, our kids or parents. Love is food for the soul and heart; it nourishes body, mind, and spirit for optimal well being.

Well, this morning I was on the receiving end of Vitamin L with this email. My husband's list made me smile and it was awesome to see what things about me he values. The greatest part about it for me was he thought through my day and knew that this would be the first thing I see in the morning when I woke up. It made me feel good, noticed, thought about, and cared for, and it encouraged me to keep on doing some of the things I do, even when I don't think they matter. So what were those 36 things he loves about me? Yes, I will share...34 of them. Because the other two are for my eyes only :)





He's a great guy and I love him so much!! So how do you get (or give) your daily dose of Vitamin L?



Adapted from this IIN Blog Post

Sunday Night Snack...

Sunday night snack. Sounds like a good idea, huh? I came up with this at the beginning of summer to try and help me control my out of control ice cream binging. It was an attempt to control how often I could eat it throughout the week. Now, I assume you figured out by using the word "attempt", the idea wasn't very successful. Nope. I still eat ice cream WAY too much, and not only on Sunday.

However, upon thinking about the Sunday night snack routine, I realized there is something else to it. My husband and I have a quirky connection around eating snack food together late at night. There is just something about that snack time that has become sacred to us and our routine. Unfortunately, it isn't the healthiest way for us to connect with each other. What's a wife (who's trying to lose weight and get healthier) to do?? Especially when the bad stuff tastes so darn good?

Well, the first thing not to do is cancel Sunday night snack! If I try to eliminate that from our marital routine, bad things will happen. I will probably feel deprived (and binge) and I will eliminate an activity my husband and I have found enjoyable together.

Healthy relationships are key components to our health. When you are on good terms in your relationships, food will begin to move aside and become secondary in it's importance. So how do I handle this when food is part of the relational connection? Well, a few simple changes to the snacking routine will help it become even more healthy without removing the enjoyment or the connection it creates!!

1. Change what you eat! Instead of indulging in a piece of cheesecake or potato chips and dip that can reach up to 1000 calories per serving, make a healthier version of the dessert, like raw cacao chocolates, a bowl of fruit, or ice cream made from coconut milk instead of cow's milk.
2. Eat earlier! Eating late at night is taxing on the digestive system and process. When you go to sleep your body slows down to rest as well, and if your stomach is full of snacks, it will sit in your stomach undigested for hours, and begin to ferment...gross! Eat your snack no later than 2 hours before bedtime, and preferably no later than 3 hours before your rest your head on your pillow.
3. Change the snack! Another alternative is to actually change the snack altogether and do an activity instead (I know, much harder, I have yet to accomplish this one...baby steps, right?) If you have the willpower, and you can pass on the snack, and take a walk instead, DO IT! Even if you do this once a month, and see how it goes for three months. Then maybe shift to every other week. This is a pattern change that is leading to excellent moderation!
4. Drink a full glass of water before the snack! If you fill your stomach with water before you dig into the treat, you will eat less, it's that simple!

Snacking doesn't have to be "sinful". We can snack smartly and responsibly. And usually, when other areas of our lives are aligned and nourished, like our relationships, snacking will take the backseat in our routines. And if you decide to snack in moderation, enjoy it! Feeling guilt slows digestion and causes emotional stress. When emotional stress is present our food can take as much as 3 times as long to digest...that's worse than sitting undigested in our bellies over night!

Now, it's Sunday night, and my hubby and I are going to share some time and a snack together! Here's to snacking responsibly!