Changes To Come...

I haven't spent a whole lot of time in here the past few weeks. We have been traveling A LOT! We have been to Denver, Chicago 6 times in 5 weeks, as well as Minnesota for a few days. We are also contemplating a couple more trips before school starts...but I am feeling burned out and ready to land for awhile...but the mountains in Colorado are calling me back...we'll see.

This blog is going to see some changes soon. Things are good and moving forward in life. I want this to follow suit. It's time to say goodbye to old feelings and emotional distress and take on a new attitude and start a new story. I am hungry for a new beginning, new life, new topics, and sharing of new challenges.

What are you hungry for? Let me know, and I will post all about it!

I hope you will still tag along. Change will be good...

Date Night...

Lately, I've been feeling like my husband and I have spent very little time together. I would even go as far to say that we could qualify as roommates instead of an intimate, connected husband and wife.

Now the truth is, we have been spending time together...in the same room, on the same vacations, same car rides, same bed...BUT, we aren't doing that great at connecting with each other and talking to each other. It seems as though we have continued to do a good job at making time for us to be together for the purpose of re-connecting, but we aren't doing a very good job at the follow through of that intention once we are alone.

Yesterday, in the middle of one his many meetings he had, my hubby sent me a text asking if he could get a babysitter to take his wife out on a date tomorrow night (now tonight!). I responded back with "That would be fabulous!"

He sent me another text earlier today on his way into another meeting (if you ask me what he does for a living, I'll say "go to meetings...about something...all day, every day...with an occasional racquetball and golf game in there") letting me know he has a sitter for 6:30pm and wondered where I wanted to go for dinner. While sitting here thinking about what I was going to eat tonight at my favorite restaurant, I realized I needed to change my focus. I need to reset my brain and get into "dating" mode. My husband heard my complaints about how I was feeling, listened, and took action to help make it better! I just now see this! An amazing man, he is :)

So instead of focusing on what I am going to indulge in for dinner tonight at my favorite local restaurant, I am going to focus on him. I love this man SO much. And we have been through A LOT together. Sometimes, I complain about the fact that we "never" talk anymore, he "always" watches TV in the other room, falls asleep too fast, whatever. But I realize that this is a relationship. You can't have a relationship with 1 person. It doesn't work.

So today it's my turn to focus on HIM instead of expecting him to focus on ME. I am already thinking of all kinds of things I want to ask him about, share with him, and hear what he has to say to me. It feels amazing to have a clear focus in my head about my intention for our evening together tonight. I already feel better and more connected and excited to put him in the spotlight for once! He does so much, works so hard, and supports just about everything I stick my nose into. It's my turn to return the favor and love on him, support, affirm, and be excited for him and all the good things he has going on too...like the fact that he got to play golf this morning for work and it is gorgeous out today!!

Happy date night to me! What should I wear? How should I do my hair? Shower? Bodywash? Make up? Yes! He is totally worth it!

Sugar Monster...

Have you ever had a monster take over your body? I currently have one living inside of me and it is very much addicted to sweet, cold treats...like ice cream. Now, this monster is very persistent. It will not move out and on to someone else, no matter what I do!

This unbeatable craving for ice cream is really starting to stump me. I have done all the right things, like eating more sweet vegetables, fruits, and smoothies. And of course the analyzing and deconstructing of this said craving and to no avail can come up with any reason as to why it is there.

Is it because it is summer and it is warm, and my body is craving something cool? Is there something in my life that needs to be addressed and I am soothing it with creamy, cool, satiating dairy? What is going on in my relationships to cause me to turn to something sweet...I can't think of anything!!

The only time this happens is in the summer. Every summer it is the same thing. All I want is ice cream. So do I give in and indulge? Or do I continue to fight and ultimately fail? I vote indulge, guilt free, knowing it is a phase. My only fear is that my body will not cooperate and allow it to be free calories!!

A Happy Anniversary...

Twelve years ago, on July 12, 1997, my husband and I were married. Last night before going to sleep, I read out loud to him a letter I had written just a few days ago. In this letter, I shared the timeline of our relationship and what he had done for me at each stage. Over the course of our marriage, we have had many hard struggles and even a separation. And in that letter, I thanked him for all of the hurt and hard times. Yes, I thanked him.

You see, if we don't experience hard times, God can't help us grow and learn. Everything in our lives happens for a reason. God's plan for us was to discover the real reason for our partnership...for His perfect plan. My marriage has taught me to love, to listen, and to be careful about what I say. It has taught me patience, hard work, endurance, and faith. It has taught me contentment (although, I'm still working on this!), compassion, and better ways to communicate my feelings.

My marriage changes me year to year. And all the changes are good, even amongst a wildfire of bad. I love my husband in a way that I can not describe. It is so much I can't even formulate the words into a description. He is the most amazing man there is. And he chose me. How blessed am I to be with him? Hugely blessed...

I love God's plan for us. I would never change a single thing that has happened to us, good or bad. I will endure all the hard times and tears over and over again, just so I can experience the feelings I have for my husband in a deeper, more intimate, and even more amazing way. If you let God speak to you and teach you, you will be forever changed...we are proof.

Happy Anniversary my love, I am looking forward to seeing where the next twelve years takes us, God willing, and all of the blessings He has in store for our future! You are my rock, my comfort, my strength, and my forever love.

Medical School

Dear Family and Friends and Bloggy Friends,

I have some exciting news to share with all of you.  My career is taking a bit of a twist and turn at the moment.  I have enrolled myself in Medical School!!  OK, not really medical school, but it may as well be.  I am currently enrolled in the largest nutrition school in the world, the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, located in New York City, where I will be trained to be a certified holistic health counselor and become a member and affiliate of the AADP (American Association of Drugless Practitioners).

IIN is a unique school and program as it does not teach just one dietary theory.  It teaches over 100 different theories with the purpose of letting  Americans know that there is no one way of eating that fits everyone.  The whole program is based on bio-individuality - we are all unique persons and made differently.  It also teaches the concept of primary foods, the bridge between nutrition and personal growth and development, which are not foods  we eat, but foods that nurture who we are and balance us as a person in our career, spirituality, relationships and physical selves.  The mission of IIN is to play a crucial role in improving health and happiness of Americans, and through that process, create a ripple effect that transforms the world!  Sound interesting??  It is!  And I am so excited and honored to now be a part of this movement :)

This is quite a change from interior design, I know!  However, my goal and intention is to incorporate this with my current design business to help as many people as I can.  As a health counselor I will also be incorporating my design background into my practice.  Our environments play as big of a role in our health as does the nutrition.  The condition of where we eat, sleep, work, play, etc. needs to be calm, clean, peaceful and nurturing.  Our environments need to feed and nurture us, just like food.  What will make my practice unique is that I can utilize the knowledge I have from my education and experience in working in design to take the healing process of my clients one step further in their lives by helping them "heal" their environments as well as their bodies!  My interior design business, Pineapple House Design, will remain in tact as well, and I will continue with those projects as they come and my time allows.

This is going to be an amazing year of my life!  It is going to be busy, time consuming and hectic at times.  There will be many events and get togethers, emails and phone calls, and blog posts I may miss.  But please bear with me and send your encouragement and support.  Pray with me and for me that I can be one of the greatest health counselors out there, helping individuals, communities, and even corporations transform their lives (And maybe yours?) as well.  When this year is over, my life and the lives of my family will be forever changed by what I will be learning.  Keep an eye on me...you will see an amazing transformation happen!!

Thank you for sharing in this adventure with me with your support, prayer, encouragement, and love.  I look forward to sharing with each and every one of you how the process is going and what I am learning!

Please get back in touch with me and let me know what is new and good in your life, as well!!

Food Affects Mood...

For the past week or so, I have finally been cooking my own meals instead of eating out (we have been moving). I have noticed my moods have been stable during this time as well. Yesterday we brought Krispy Kreme donuts into the house as a treat for the kids...yea...for "the kids." Anyways, today I ate leftover donuts for a snack and then proceeded through my afternoon without anymore nourishment. I left the house to do some work this evening at my office without eating dinner. And then when I was waiting to pick up one of the kids from an activity I had 20 minutes to spare and drove through McDonald's because I was starving! Now I am grumpy...just plain grumpy. And I know why.

When you eat healthy foods, you feel good. When you eat unhealthy food, you don't feel good. It's as simple as that.

Full Circle

One week ago, at this exact time, I was watching my mother in the hospital having a heart attack and being wheeled away to surgery. I remember stroking her forehead and holding her hand as they pulled her through the surgery doors. I didn't say anything to her. I just smiled at her and she just looked at me and nodded her head.

That morning is still a blur. I remember thinking I should go to the gym and get in a workout, I had nothing else going on. I remember going upstairs to change my clothes to go. And then when I looked at my bed, I decided to snuggle in and do my bible study instead. The phone rang a few times and I checked the caller ID and ignored all the calls. The fourth time the phone rang I was getting annoyed because it was getting hard to stay focused. I saw it was my mom, hesitated, put the phone down, and then picked it back up and answered...the only call I took that morning.

Hearing her whimper on the other end as she explained she didn't feel well and needed help got me out of bed faster than anything in recent history. I was out the door before we even hung up. When I got to her house she was waiting for me in the chair closest to the door. I remember looking at her face and being struck by the color. It looked grey. And now when I think back, maybe it was more blue...or a combination of both? She immediately started panicking and crying and said the Dr.'s office told her to go right to the hospital. So we did. It never even crossed my mind that maybe I should call an ambulance instead...not until I was half way there. I had no idea what was happening...maybe a heart attack...maybe not. I tried to keep her calm and just listened to her talk and absorbed every piece of information she gave me so I knew what to tell them in case she passed out or something.

Seven minutes later I told her to stay put as I ran into the emergency room and made someone come out and get her with a wheel chair. The last thing I wanted was for her to walk into the ER herself and be sent through triage instead of getting immediate attention. Turns out that was a good thing. They immediately took her back, hooked her up to the monitors, and it was chaos from there. I was watching their eyes and how they all looked at each other silently. I knew that wasn't good. And I watched them scurry all around her, it seemed like everyone working in the ER that day immediately became involved. Nurses were crashing into each other, Dr's were asking her all the same questions over and over, until finally, one of them said "It's not good news...you are having a little bit of a heart attack..." Turns out, it wasn't that little. Her coronary artery was 100% blocked. They almost had to shock her heart during surgery and she almost died. She's incredibly lucky to be alive...they stopped it in it's tracks.

Only 2 hours after my mother called me, she was out of surgery. She was awake and saying she felt great. Her face was flushed and pink...the best it has looked in years. It was like nothing ever happened. My dad was cracking jokes with the nurses as I was just trying to absorb what had just happened. It was all very surreal.

It never even dawned on me that I would have so much responsibility plopped in my lap that morning. My entire life came to a screeching halt. It wasn't an option to leave her alone, even for a second. I didn't even want to go to the bathroom. I told my husband that I was staying with her...someone needs to be there. And that was that, he was on his own. I knew he could handle it though, he's amazing. I knew my dad would get too antsy and have a hard time. It would be better for him to be able to come and go as he needed. So I stayed with her and took care of her.

It didn't really hit me how weird it was until I started feeding her bites of jello later that evening. She couldn't bend her arms because of the IV's. And I thought to myself...it all comes full circle...life. And then there were simple things like helping her go the bathroom, helping her sit up, bathing her and washing her hair so she would look good for her visitors! I never thought about what that would be like. She tested my patience...but I never lost it, thankfully. It's a hard line to walk on. She's my mother. And despite any falling outs or arguments we have had, I still needed to respect her. But at the same time, I was responsible for her and her care, like she was a child. It was hard to process.

Only 52 hours after she arrived, we were able to go home. I loaded her up into my dad's car and walked away shaking my head, still trying to get a grasp of what happened. Everything happened SO fast. The heart attack, the surgery, and the recovery. It was hard to let go of the "control" and turn her over to my dad. But I knew they needed to figure it all out together and I had my own family I needed to get back home to.

My mom is doing great. She's been home for 5 days. She has driven herself to the bank already and to the doctor's office for follow up appointments. It's strange to think of how close she was to death only one week ago. My hope for her is that she realizes the magnitude of what happened. When she was in the hospital, all she was focused on was getting out, not getting better. Now I want her to get better. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. Her recovery has been "easy" so far. I want her to slow down and take life in...because she almost missed it.

If you ask her, I'm not sure she would think of these recent events as a blessing...maybe she would...I don't know. But I do. For years I have been struggling to connect with her. Those 52 hours in the hospital allowed me to do that. She had no choice but to listen to me and allow me to be involved in her life. And whether she likes it or not, I am going to stay involved. I am going to ask questions and show care and concern. I know that will be hard for her, because she likes to be private and independent. But God opened this door for me and I am walking in and taking full advantage of the opportunity. I am thankful that she is still here and to have a second chance to be more involved...and I will pray that she is too, and that she will recognize that God had his hand in all of this and will continue to in the future. It's weird how God works sometimes. But it is amazing when He does, and I actually recognize it.