A Day In The Life Of A Happy Husband...

Last week seemed to be a tough one for my husband.  He came home flippy, stressed, and on some days, down right grumpy.  He was busy during the days and staying up late at night.  When he finally did go to sleep, he was restless, tossing, and turning.  By the time Friday evening rolled around I had a problem on my hands...an overtired, impatient, antsy, overloaded...well, you get the picture...

All week long I was noticing the build up.  I was wishing there was something I could do to help him out and lighten his load.  He works so hard for our family.  He's incredibly ambitious, creative, and selfless.  He takes time out of his day to help his new employees move into their new homes or to talk a friend through a life transition.  He'll coach up-and-coming professionals who look to him for advice, and even makes time for me...filling in the gaps by running and errand, or doing a kid pick-up to lighten the load of my day and responsibilities of running our home, despite his already full schedule.

There are things I can do to ease his day, like making sure he always has clean, pressed clothes in the morning, a comforting, healthy meal on the table when he arrives in the evening, and managing our home flawlessly (that's the goal at least!) so he doesn't have to worry about anything extra while at work during the day, and most importantly, greet him at the door with a smile on my face.  Friday was a different story, though.  None of those things seemed to be helping him, and I knew he needed a time-out away from work, away from the kids, and away from home to reset and recharge his batteries.  I enlisted (aka "bribed") the help of our oldest daughter for babysitting the younger ones, and before we went to bed, planned a "day date" beginning first thing in the morning.

I was determined for this to be a great day for him.  He needed it!  Upon waking, I spiffed myself up...I needed to look my best for him and he needed something sweet to look at...so no jeans or the typical "Saturday uniform."  Nope, it was a "nice summer dress, combed hair, and make-up" kind of day.  While the kids woke up one by one and settled in with pancakes (and doughnuts for a treat...again, bribery!) we sat out in our screened porch in the warm breeze for a chat.  I let him run the conversation, for once, to let him unload a bit, and once everyone was awake, we took off for our own breakfast.  Here's where we ate...

Longfellow Grill

The Longfellow Grill is a small restaurant we discovered last fall right along the Mississippi River near the kids' school.  David loves eating outside when he can so we chose a table out on their patio in the shade.  It was a beautiful morning, with plenty of sunshine and a warm summer breeze, and the area was active with bikers and walkers so the people watching was great!  He was content and began to relax...we were off to a good start.

After breakfast we drove across the river to St. Paul and through some of the neighborhoods to kill some time.  Then we toured the Town and Country Club, an urban golf and country club, as we are looking to find a place for David to be able to entertain and socialize with colleagues and clients and us to have a place to "play" as a family without the crowds and hassles of some of the big city amenities we currently use...like our gym, pool, and places to eat.  These can be "problematic"or "a hike" to get to occasionally, depending on time of day, traffic, or other things going on in the city.  This club is also right across the river from the kids' school so it could work nicely for me as a "landing pad" after school with any combination of kids while the other ones are at activities in the same general area, avoiding driving back and forth across town!  Needless to say, it was gorgeous.  And the golf course was amazing.  And David LOVES to golf.  I would love for him to have a place to go to unwind whenever he wanted to, to play golf, socialize with other professionals, and/or relax!  Here are some of the sights we took in while there...

 

I mean seriously...what guy wouldn't want to spend time in that scenery?  Or this...later in the fall...

Or this pool, to play in with his kids, never having to worry about whether there will be a chair available to sit in the sun or dry off after a swim...

 

The tour was great.  David was in his element and loved talking to the golf pro and the clubhouse manager about all sorts of things.  It definitely beat out some of the other clubs we had viewed and I think he left feeling happy and content about creating a new community for himself and our family there...it definitely gave him something fun and different to think about!

Back home we went for lunch.  I made one of his favorites, Pulled Pork Sandwiches with a homemade BBQ sauce and Cabbage and Carrot slaw, which he raved about...yes!

After lunch, he was a new man.  He played catch outside with one of the boy's while I watered the flowers.  We took a short walk around the neighborhood, he sat with his feet up and watched golf...and the biggest accomplishment I noticed...???  He never once took out his phone to check his email, respond to emails or texts, or get himself sucked into work by even looking at it...huge positive!

After dinner was the best part of the day (for me).  We went here...

Again, what guy doesn't love hanging out in the Apple store?  We looked at computers, phones, iPads, iPods...played with them all...talked about upgrading stuff we've had for awhile, etc...and the best part?  I finally decided to get my new computer.  Which made him smile, because it made me smile, and he got to help me get it all set up before we went to bed.

Days like this are so important.  Everyone should take the time to step away from daily routines and stressors to recharge and relax, to not think about work, and think about caring for and nourishing themselves.  I love my husband A TON.  I am so happy that we were able to have this time together, even if it did mean bribing the kids, setting aside typical Saturday chores, and pushing off running errands for another day.  We don't get to do things like this very often and it was a blessing.  I feel like I got my husband back...the happy, witty, easy going, generous and fun loving man that he is.  I need to remember to plan these kind of days with him more often...days about HIM...with, or sometimes without, me...so he never gets overloaded and stressed like that again.  It's important to not only have balance in our lives as wives, but to help our husbands create balance in their lives as well.

Breakfast Blight...

Since when do I eat brownies and drink coke for breakfast??

This is what I asked myself this morning when I sat down at my desk two-fisted with both of these items. What in the world?? How did these things even get into my pantry?

Warning! Warning! Warning! The alarm has sounded. My life has become grossly out of balance! The sign? Coke and brownies. I haven't had either of these items for well over a year, maybe even two!! And today, they were both in my hands...for my breakfast. Hmmm...

In contemplating this catastrophe, I did a mental rewind of the last six weeks of my existence. It has been busy, stressful, and chaotic for sure. There has been a new job offer, which led to a scurrying of new ideas, a lot of traveling, and the prospect of many things to come...a fresh start, so to speak. A new home (yes again!), a new city, a new state, new friends, new church, new schools, new clients, new grocery stores, new EVERYTHING!

With this new adventure on the horizon, there has also been some tragedy mixed in to work through, with the death of my husband's friend. Then there was new life, with the birth of a new baby for one of my best friends. And intermingled with that we are dealing with some hiccups trying to secure our future...the new beginning which will begin just 10 weeks from now!!

Wow. That is a lot to absorb. I am overwhelmed. Nervous. Excited. Afraid. And extremely grateful for the new opportunity. It's funny the way life works sometimes. Just when you think you've settled into a nice groove, it topples over and you need to reset. Frustrating? Yes! Overwhelming? Yes! Too much to handle? Apparently, maybe a little for me. But it's nothing that can't be fixed.

Coke and brownies. My warning sign. Time to reset myself. Time for more self care, quiet time to reflect and process, for exercise that has been neglected in all the travel, time to slow down, regroup, and make sense of all that is happening. This is serious, because I don't even like coke or brownies :) But I can do it.

Step one? Throw out the coke and brownies.

A Healthy Perspective...My Story

I wasn't always a "health nut"...nor did I ever aspire to be one. All I knew was there were many areas of my life that were not where I wanted them to be and I was constantly searching for a magic solution to bring them all into one happy place. I was feeling depressed, overwhelmed, and out of sorts. My emotions were struggling, my health was struggling, my marriage and relationships were struggling, everything was in an upheaval. I was experiencing complete discontent, and nothing was "right".

When I finally tired of blaming everyone and everything for my problems, I began working on improving my health, where as a result, my eating habits changed, and I began to feel balance come into place in all areas of my life. Could this really be? Is my food affecting everything? Yes! It was. I slowly began to see the bigger picture that was surrounding my life. I was eating junk. And as a result, my life was full of junk...artificial relationships, less than stellar parenting, lazy attitude, lack of sweetness in my marriage, feeling dry and empty...it was an overall full-out funk. I discovered though, that the reason this was, is because I was feeding my self all the wrong things. I was using food to remedy every feeling I had! When ever I was upset and needed comfort, I made a heavy, satiating meal. Whenever I felt lonely or sad, or unloved or neglected, the sweet tooth kicked in. Stressed and burned out? Yep, you guessed it...crunchy, salty anything! I was noticing a pattern, and it was intriguing me!

Once I learned food wasn't the way to handle emotions, I knew I needed to reevaluate everything and figure out what was missing in my life. Was it friendship, love, creativity, security? All of these actually. While I was feeding my body food and food products, I wasn't feeding me. All the areas of my life that make me who I am. And all that neglect began to manifest it's way through my food.

Once I figured out how to handle me and maintain balance with my eating and in my life as a wife, mother, business owner, friend, sister, daughter, etc...I realized and knew there were others out there that struggle just like I had (and sometimes still do)! I began to desire to help these people find what they were looking for in life, while improving their health and overall wellness at the same time. With a little prodding from a friend, and full support from my husband, I enrolled at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition to became a Holistic Health Counselor.

In my counseling practice, I now work with my clients in all the same areas I did to improve and balance myself, my health, my emotions, and my life. We talk about good nutrition practices, as well as all the other areas of our lives that need to be fed as well...relationships, physical health, spirituality, careers and roles, and proper self care. In addition to my health counseling certification, I have a BFA in Interior Design. I understand that the environments we work, live, sleep, and play in bear a crucial role in our health and happiness. This makes my counseling practice unique and different than any other because I use this knowledge to take my clients' health journey one step further. Together, we can transform any environment they spend time in into a place that nurtures them, feeds them, and supports them positively as they make new health and lifestyle changes.

I feel blessed to have gone through that "funk" and the struggles that I did. It led me to the most incredible and amazing journey ever towards health and wellness. I love sharing and helping others discover what they are missing in their lives. I learn so much from every client which only challenges and improves me more. Each one is such a treasured gift!

In your journey towards health and balance, do not be afraid to look to others for help or answers. Support is crucial whether in the form of a community or just one individual. Take time to care for yourself and be a part of a movement to help change your family, friends, loved ones, and even the world, by sharing what you have learned and discovered about yourself!

Luanne Gerrity, HHC
www.imhungryforsomething.com

A Healthy Perspective...

I wasn't always a "health nut"...nor did I ever aspire to be one. All I knew was there were many areas of my life that were not where I wanted them to be and I was constantly searching for a magic solution to bring them all into one happy place. I was feeling depressed, overwhelmed, and out of sorts. My emotions were struggling, my health was struggling, my marriage and relationships were struggling, everything was in an upheaval. I was experiencing complete discontent, and nothing was "right"....

Want to know more? Today I am guest posting over at Kitchen Stewardship so head on over to see how things turned out! I know, I know...it's been a bit since I have been in here...I have been busy seeing clients, scheduling workshops, writing workshops, and speaking at workshops! But there is a lot in the wings so keep checking back! AND...if you would like a chance to win a free health consultation, head over there and enter Katie's contest!!

It's Not About Me...Or Is It?

As I sit here reflecting on the past two weeks of my life, I feel jumbled and out of sorts. I crave quiet and order and routine and discipline. Today is the last day of summer and I can hardly wait until Tuesday morning when all of my children are in school for an entire day.

This summer has a been a weird one for my family. We moved into a new house and have been adjusting to our new surroundings. We traveled more than I can ever remember traveling in one summer. My oldest daughter spent 5 straight weeks away from home AND got her level one drivers license (a permit to drive with parents). And most recently, my eighteen year old niece has decided to leave home in Colorado and has asked to move in with us! It's been busy, for sure.


As our niece settles in, and I reflect on all the above events, I realize that for some period of time now, I have been completely neglecting to care for myself in the midst of all this chaos. I have allowed stress to take over, worry to keep me awake, clutter to creep into my environments, and have settled on less than desirable meals to "nourish" my body. Over the past couple of days I have found myself experiencing extreme emotions at random times through out my day...tears while washing dishes, anger while cleaning up messes, discontent while taking a walk with my husband, and stress and worry while attempting to fall asleep at night.

The adventures we have had this summer and adding a new member to our family has been absolutely delightful but also overwhelming and incredibly time consuming. My routine and responsibilities have come to a screeching halt. And now I know I am paying the price for allowing this to happen. I have noticed the crankiness begin to creep in. I have heard myself sighing more and more throughout my day. And a feeling of overwhelming discontent with my days has taken over the feeling of happiness at accomplishing the many tasks I might have had on my "To Do" list.

I realize now that in my attempt to live a life centered around the thought of "it's not all about me" I have lost touch with who I am. In my attempts to serve my children, husband, distant family members, and welcome my niece into our family, I have stopped remembering to care for myself and my needs as well. Not only is this not good for me it is also not good for everyone who has to live with me.

I will tell my clients "If you don't care for yourself and your body first, you will be no good to others." And once again, I find this true in my own life. Even though I am spending my entire days serving and loving others, the quality of that servanthood is quickly waning as I continue to neglect myself and my needs in the midst of it. Self care is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves...and we need to remember to give to ourselves as well as others.

If you think taking time out of your day to get a workout in at a gym that offers child care sounds frivolous, think again. If you think spending $3.00 (or even $20) on a body care product that you love is selfish, think again. How about taking a long hot shower...a waste of water? What if you told your children they needed to entertain themselves for 30 minutes while you quietly read a book? How about taking the time to cook an extra meal (or a larger one that would yield leftovers!) in the evening to take to work the next day for a healthy home cooked lunch instead of eating out at a restaurant or driving through a fast food establishment? Not worth the time or the effort? YES it is! We are worth spending time and resources on ourselves!

If you are finding yourself overwhelmed with stress, life, or lack of time sit quietly for ten minutes and write down a few things you could do to care for yourself during this time. Not only will it nourish your emotions, your soul and your body, it will also allow you to recharge so that you can be even more aware and effective in whatever you throw yourself into...your job, parenting, serving others, creating art, or just being you!

Today my niece went to her first day of college. Tomorrow my children all go to their first day of school. While the house won't be quiet for the whole day, it will be for a few hours in the morning. During that time, I plan to set all responsibilities and work aside, sit with a cup of tea in my favorite room in the house, where the sun shines in bright and warm, and quietly reflect, recharge, and renew my thoughts for my near future. I know this down time will nourish me greatly and I am very much looking forward to it. I also plan to eat lunch and spend the afternoon with my very best friend who I have not seen since the beginning of summer. To be able to share, unload, and ask what is new and good with her will be fabulous! Tomorrow will be a wonderful day all about me, it will fuel me for Wednesday and the rest of my week where I have a very busy schedule and need to be focused and have energy.

How about you? Are you caring for and loving yourself in times of stress or craziness? If you don't give yourself the attention you need, even if things aren't stressful or busy, you will become unbalanced and lack in all other areas of your life. Do something today to show yourself you are worth it and it can be "all about you" sometimes!