Sunday, September 14, 2008

What did you say??

Have you ever fallen into the bad habit of putting yourself down?? I have. I do it all the time. I have incredibly high expectations of myself. I tend to set unrealistic goals of all sizes because I feel like there is no reason why I can't reach them. And then when I don't, I begin to sing a song that sounds a little like this...

sigh....I am such a loser!
I can't get anything done...
Why am I so incapable of accomplishing anything??
ugghhh...I'm such a failure...
My five year old could've gotten this done better than I did (in fact I paid her a dollar to do it!!)
I hate how this outfit looks on me.
This paint job stinks.
I can never cut the grass in lines as straight as I want them (I know...obsessive compulsive...)

OK, you get the picture. The problem I am realizing in this self discovery journey I have been on lately is this... Whenever I talk to myself it is usually negative in some shape or form. Why do I do that? It doesn't help the situation. It makes me feel worse sometimes. It makes me feel defeated as well. I have discovered that I do this so often and I think I do it and not even realize I am sometimes. This is SO bad!!

One thing we need to realize in our lives is that we were fearlessly and wonderfully made. Every single part of us is incredibly loved by our creator God. Shouldn't that be enough to make us love ourselves? To know that God accepts us any way we are, all the time? That He is there to provide us the encouragement we need when we are struggling and feeling worthless? If I were worthless, I wouldn't be here! There is a plan for me! There is a plan for everyone! It is our job to try to uncover that plan and live our lives accordingly.

"OK, but what if I don't believe in God", you say?? Here is what I am learning and a different way to think about it...

What you think, affects how you act.

Think about that for a minute...what you think, affects how you act. I thought about that for a long time today and discovered that for me, that is so true! Maybe one of the reasons I feel stuck sometimes is because I am telling myself I can't do it and won't move forward. I realized as well, that I am hungry for love. My love...towards me. I don't love myself the way I should. I want to be better about that. I am going to flip the tape over, and make a new version of the song that I sing in my head...

You are beautiful!
You are so smart and clever!
Way to worked so hard!
My hair looks great like this!
I am a good mother!
I am an amazing wife!
I have so much to share with and teach others!
I have great design ideas!
I am perfect the way I am!
I really am funny and interesting!

Just writing that list put a feeling of warmth inside of me because I know I am all of those things. It's when I tell myself I'm not, that my world begins to crumble around me and I feel defeated. Hopefully now, I can hear and sing that new song in my head ALL the time.

What negative mental tapes are spinning around in your head??

Try taping over them.


Hip Mom's Guide said...

I have a good friend I've known for over ten years, and about 5 years into our friendship I noticed something about her: she rarely makes negative comments about herself. When I would regularly complain about my hair, she didn't make a peep. When I lamented my lack of skills in certain areas, she didn't join the pity party. I took note and have tried to learn from her, although I'll admit to still having those days...

Jay said...

Nice thoughts Luanne...I am all about empowering and perking yourself up...this was really nicely put.

Frogs in my formula said...

A good friend of mine was constantly saying "I'm sorry" and I finally asked her why. She didn't even realize she was doing it. Sometimes our self-deprecating commentary is so ingrained we're not even conscious of it. This was a great post. I especially like "I am a good mother!"

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this encouragement for not only myself, but for my DD who really needs this. I'm going to forward it on to her.

Perfect Post!